Mind you, I am no expert in this field, but I sure know what it feels like.
You can't control every aspect of production. That's a hard, hard fact that I believe even the most experienced producers still struggle with in their day-to-day lives.
Producing is a weird middle ground. You're not focusing on one specific thing, you're looking at all departments, all aspects, and the final product, all while making sure client is happy. I've learned it's a delicate dance, and even if you're not a producer, being a manager or leader of any kind takes years and years of practice.
When I first stared as a producer, I cut myself a lot of slack in my brain-- I was a student at the time, finishing my college degree, working on my senior thesis, and trying to understand my new role as a producer in a commercial world.
I held myself to such a high standard to figure out a solution and make everything work that I was working myself down to the bone. This resulted in mental and physical health problems where I have had to take an active role in my well-being, more than ever before.
One of the biggest things I was stuck on was this eagerness for perfectionism.
I had a mentor who always reminded me during production that you can't control everything. "Do what you can right now, and you're honestly just going to sit on your hands for a bit until that one email comes in or until you need to have this one conversation. But you have to ride the wave. You have to wait a lot of times before playing your chess pieces."
Not the exact words, but close enough to the point he was trying to get across.
As much as I want to send that email, have that conversation, book lunch, or keep working, the more I sat back and waited, the more I eased my mind. Listen, I'm not fully there yet, because my anxiety stilly spikes when I'm sitting waiting patiently to make my next move, but it's better than it was before.
It forces me to slow down, and with the amount of work I've been doing in therapy, it makes me run through my positive/alternative thinking exercises.
So, slow down. Sit in your car for another 5 minutes. Make a cup of tea. Let any anxious thoughts or ideas of Plan A, B, and C come into your mind, but let them go after a while. You are only one person and you can only control so much. Let the universe take the reins for the rest.
And remember-- those hurdles that won't move force you to be creative and think outside the box. You may have a better result than anticipated.
Sincerely,
CSM
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